She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
