I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
