I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
