ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize