k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
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Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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