do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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