I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
