You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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