Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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