It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it's not cheating when I paid for it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
