Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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