You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you didnt know i had herpes?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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