i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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