So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
