Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
