Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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