I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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