I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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