Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
