aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I smell like Dick and happiness
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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