No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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