cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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