my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize