Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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