Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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