i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
