Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
