i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
