Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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