when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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