On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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