do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
