I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
