the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
