sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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