we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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