i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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