he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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