I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
did you just send me my own nude
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
