It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
