East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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