I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
