420 ftw
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
