I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
