i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We talked him into tasing himself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
