Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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