so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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