i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
