he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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