I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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