They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
