Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
be right there i have to get my cape
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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