i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
