there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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