ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
