# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
